A Real Cat Person

It was a day like any other in Seattle. Overcast skies and condominiums were being built to block the view of the horizon. I was meeting my friend Melissa for coffee at a gas station turned cafe next to Taco Time in West Seattle. Old velvet furniture, gaudy framed pictures — it was a coffee place that was part Queen of England, part haunted house.

When she finally walked in, she immediately placed a 1970’s photo album on the table.

“What am I looking at?” I asked, lightly petting the bright orange textured forest cover.

I stared in anticipation, drinking my two parts cream, three parts sugar coffee. The springs from the old velvet couch were digging into my backside.

“I found this at Goodwill.” She said, sipping her earl grey.

“I thought you might like to have it.”

Knowing my tastes range from kitschy to bizarre, I placed the album in my lap. I’ve gotten a lot of weird presents in my lifetime — a handmade bigfoot doll, a national geographic junior explorers telescope, life size Kraft macaroni and cheese promotional material… but nothing could have prepared me for this.